The begining

I guess I should give everyone a bit of my background. I am 26, and I am a single mother. My daughter will be turning two soon and she is my world. She is why I have the strength I have. I was diagnosed with HPV during the rutine STD screening doctors due at the begining of any pregnancy. That was in March of 2006. When I was told what I had, I had no idea what it was or what it meant for my unborn child. I was terrified and ashamed, I felt dirty, tainted. I went home and looked up HPV, and found suprisingly little. But I was able to reassure myself that it would not hurt my daughter.
The happiest moment in my life was the moment I heard her first cry, at that moment, nothing else mattered but her, little did I know that becoming pregnant with her saved my life. During my last post partum check up, my doctor told me I needed a colposcopy, but because my insurance lapsed I had to pay full price, and I could not afford it. About 10 months later, I had a major life changing event and ended up moving back home with my parents. I got a job, and that job came with insurance. I just barely made it in time for the pre-existing condition clause to be void, I'm talking 1 month! That was back in February, a year after I was told I needed that colposcopy I never got. All this time I have spent afraid to go to the doctor because I was afraid of what she would tell me.
I finally mustered up the courage to go back in August, I made my appointment and had my PAP. About a week later I get a call from my doctor's office, they said she wanted me to come in as soon as possible to get a colposcopy so she could do a biopsy. And boy did that scare me! I made the appointment and again feared the day that was looming. After all, if you don't get tested, it isn't real, right? Going in and having them tell you that they want to test you for cancer means there is no turing back, there is no more pretending that it's not there, that your fine. Wrong. That just lets it fester and grow.
I had my biopsy in September and had to wait the normal 2 weeks for the results. But to top things off, we had a hurricane hit right in the middle of all of this! So for all I knew, my "specamines" were ruined or lost and I would have to do this all over again. I called my doctor's office after everything started opening back up to ask if there would be a delay in getting the results, after all, for all I knew they shipped them somewhere else for testing. Luckily, they got them back in the normal 2 weeks, but boy was that the longest two weeks of my life.
When I got "the call" I was at work so I had to run off and find an empty conference room somewhere so that I could talk in private. When I answered, the nurse said that the doctor wanted to talk to me herself. I just knew it was bad news, they never talk to you themselves about test results unless it's something bad, right? When she finally came on, she didn't come right out and say yes it was cancer, or no it's not. She just listed my previous history: diagnosed in March 2006 with HPV, told in February 2007 I needed a colposcopy, had a PAP in August 2008, and had the biopsy done 2 weeks before. She FINALLY said that it was not cancer. I had to ask her 3 times just to make sure I heard her right!
She told me that she wanted me to have something called a cone biopsy using the LEEP procedure, and of course I had no cluse as to what either of those 2 were. She said that it indeed was "cancer free" but it was very advanced mutation and she wanted me to have the tumors removed as soon as possible. I had no clue what any of this meant, but I agreed. 30 minutes later he scheduling nurse called me and wanted me to make my appointment for the next week. Unfortunately I had to wait 2 weeks due to my schedule.


Sorry to end this abruptly, but it is getting late, and my daughter will have me up early. I will try to post more tomorrow night.